please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
