chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
