Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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