I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
