In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
