Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
