This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
