My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
