She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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