It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
