um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
