When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
