Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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