I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
