Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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