I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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