There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
