In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
