There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
