good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
