You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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