then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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