Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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