Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
