I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
