K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize