Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
