Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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