we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
