Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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