Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize