I'm going to jail i love you
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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