I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
