i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
