talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
