dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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