I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Randomize
