you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
True but thats because hes a fetus.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
