Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
