She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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