Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
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and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
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I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize