so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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