D3 body, D1 cock
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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