Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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