you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
