This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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