he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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