I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
