Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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