So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
