Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
