I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
