His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just blew my weed a kiss
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
