i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
