I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
