Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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