Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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