I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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