Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
