There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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