Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
