i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
