Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
