There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
